I sit,
with my hands tied
by the chains of
my unacknowledged wounds,
my body frozen,
watching.
the darkness of my past approaches,
circles me,
looks me in the eye,
and grins
as it tempts to send me
to the inescapable bardo
at the ends of the universe.
the fear overtakes me,
I have no control.
the more fearful I grow,
the more I fight,
and the closer it gets.
the portal is opening,
its gravitational field pulling me
into blackness.
either I keep fighting,
or trust and let go.
I choose trust.
I choose death.
I’m falling
in every direction
as my cells are pulled apart,
and absorb into the void.
and with another breath,
everything is still...
inhale.
exhale.
inhale.
exhale.
this one moment lasts an eternity,
as I float
in the light of the dark night...
I am.
the angel of alchemy
hears this silence,
and comes to me.
she calls my transformed cells back
into resurrection
as she wraps me in her wings.
her golden warmth radiates through me,
and I remember..
I am held.
and I am home.
always.
a tear falls down my cheek,
as I come back into being,
feeling the air against my skin
and the soil beneath my feet.
she holds my heart,
kisses my soul,
and absorbs back into the light.
my eyes flutter open,
seeing my surroundings as if for the first time.
I feel the electrified impulse of LIFE
circulate through my body.
I stand still,
staring into the future
and just as I feared the darkness,
I fear the responsibility of choice.
I fear for not living in alignment.
I fear disconnection.
I fear movement.
another breath...
and with my hands on my heart,
I step forward,
holding my fear as if it were my child,
and remember
that the path forward
is emerging every moment.
and we access it’s direction
if we have the courage
to step into
into the wisdom of
our present experience,
and surrender to the
inspired,
guided,
movement
of LIFE.