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die to live

I sit,

with my hands tied

by the chains of

my unacknowledged wounds,

my body frozen,


the darkness of my past approaches,

circles me,

looks me in the eye,

and grins

as it tempts to send me

to the inescapable bardo

at the ends of the universe.

the fear overtakes me,

I have no control.

the more fearful I grow,

the more I fight,

and the closer it gets.

the portal is opening,

its gravitational field pulling me

into blackness.

either I keep fighting,

or trust and let go.

I choose trust.

I choose death.

I’m falling

in every direction

as my cells are pulled apart,

and absorb into the void.

and with another breath,

everything is still...





this one moment lasts an eternity,

as I float

in the light of the dark night...

I am.

the angel of alchemy

hears this silence,

and comes to me.

she calls my transformed cells back

into resurrection

as she wraps me in her wings.

her golden warmth radiates through me,

and I remember..

I am held.

and I am home.


a tear falls down my cheek,

as I come back into being,

feeling the air against my skin

and the soil beneath my feet.

she holds my heart,

kisses my soul,

and absorbs back into the light.

my eyes flutter open,

seeing my surroundings as if for the first time.

I feel the electrified impulse of LIFE

circulate through my body.

I stand still,

staring into the future

and just as I feared the darkness,

I fear the responsibility of choice.

I fear for not living in alignment.

I fear disconnection.

I fear movement.

another breath...

and with my hands on my heart,

I step forward,

holding my fear as if it were my child,

and remember

that the path forward

is emerging every moment.

and we access it’s direction

if we have the courage

to step into

into the wisdom of

our present experience,

and surrender to the




of LIFE.

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